MY Calling - HAPPINESS

From the bottom of my heart, I know my calling on earth remains the same
I will find the strength and the courage, from the dumpster of despair
I will find laughter and joy, from the pile of worries and stress
I will find goodness and kindness, out of the unfavourables
I will find beauty, from the depth of your flaws and imperfections
I will find peace, from the wreckage of confusion
Cos I found you, amongst the trillions of scattering stars in the universe
That marks another epic of journey that I know holds many more discoveries
I will find patience and virtues, in all misadventures
Cos there is an equilibrium that we can both achieve
After all, we exist to play a different role, to bring about the best equilibrium
We can create the balance in a friendship and relationship
We can find the balance in indulgence and independence
We will lead the others, who will follow suit in our pursuit of happiness.

I am not trying to be presumptuous
But finding happiness is really a hardcore dirty job
Everyone wants to have happiness, but not pay the price for it!
And here I am putting myself out into the mercy of earthlings
Been poked fun at, been mocked with idiot-craziness
Been put on the pedestal of silliness
Been taunted for nakedly wearing a heart outside
Oh damn, earthlings are having their fun at my expenses
But hopefully at the end of the era, they really do understand the meaning of happiness.

I volunteered to be put onto this EARTH, into a very strange spot of limelight
Been sucked into the emotional turmoil, and very passionate indulging earthlings
So I will remain here, until my task is done, and i bring forth universal meanings
Happiness will be going through many magnifying redefinitions
2008 will be partied off
2009 will be ushered in.....

Hold your turbo blasters, Commanders of my mother ship
As you can see, I am having a blast of time here
Just set up your telecentric lens and watch me sway and party
And hoist out a host of different meaning of happiness
Life is on the Go go go go mode
Share the happiness all round the world.

NO FUSS

Things do happen in life
Sometimes wonderful, and sometimes not
Sometimes strange, sometimes really expected
Sometimes a lil surprise, sometimes just waiting;
Everything in life, makes us feel alive
Although, not the feelings that we sought
But we should treat all our feelings with due respect
For we are the living.

We know kindness beget kindness
Evil beget evil
Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind
Or sometimes we need to be cold, to stay alive;
We strive for our own happiness
No matter how life doesn't seem to appeal
No matter how hard we tried to reprimand
At the end, we just need to survive.

Just live, and try not to make a fuss
Leave out the ado, and just live as we have been doing
Even trying to be ignorant can be totally bliss
For sometimes the less we know, the less trouble we are;
Live each day to the fullest, and have fun
Whatever come along, endure each day, smiling and laughing
Worries the least
As if we don't care.

Free the heart of any worries, free of the mind of the fussiness
Fill up the void, with ideas of giving kindness back to the world
Do good, and may all blessings come to aid, accordingly
And if they don't, never fret nevertheless.

Past, Present & Future of Xmas Coming

Whenever something goes wrong in our life
We want to search for an answer, to shed some lights,
But does every misfortune has a specific reasoning
Especially, that points into our face, and we are to be blamed
Maybe, something really is just meant to happen accordingly
Whether we are right or wrong, will never made any difference
Some strange twist of destiny and fate
It is now, and not before, or we will be late.

We have been hurt, we have been rejected, we have been played out
What else is new, the games that everyone naturally plays
There has never been a clear cut rules and regulations
Everyone is their own judge, and everyone acts upon their own emotions
All seem grey, and there is no black and white, distinction
And it seems rather delayed to have now a damage control.

If we can find something new in life to do, let's
If there is someone new in our life to love, why not
Obviously, everyone has got their own path to journey upon
Everyone has a noble dream of finding happiness of their own
As long as in that quest, we remember never to hurt anyone
Nor take anyone for granted, then at the end, we will have what we want
Let the sincerity shines through, and pray with our heart
And acknowledge the "present", that is leading to this path.

Take on the challenge, and overcome the fear
Find the strength, to ward off obstacles that are near
We can accomplish more than we did before
So let's look past the anxiety, and anticipate the success that is in store.

No courses, Just Causes

Each day, we are trained to make decisions
But do you remember if you have taken any lessons called "Making decisions"
Sometimes, we are put in difficult situations
And you realized that you don't have any emergency manuals to refer
There are self motivating, and self promoting books you have read
But none seem to have been able to prepare you for the worst things in life
Unknown, and unpredictable.

Whether there are substantial evidence, or none at all
We are required to make split seconds judgement
Then we learn to deal with the aftermath
More cross roads, more split junctions, more issues
There is just no ending, when the things in life start crashing in
Out of the frying pan into the bonfire.

There is no institution that will embark you on the journey of life
Fully preparing you for every possible journeys known to man kind
There are no courses, but there are causes
There will be solutions, and there will be light at the end of the tunnel
But right away, you will have to deal with what is the most difficult, first time ONLY.

It is always difficult in the beginning
Experiences will be acquired in the process of learning
There may never be any courses available
But there is always causes to live by.

Endeavor & Endure

How often, we strive to showcase the best of our qualities
Whether it is by choice, or chance, or it comes naturally
How often, we are bound by spiritual beliefs
Or simply by a principles, we live.

Building characters are not overnight success or failure
But accessing our personalities, is an outrageous violation
Often so baseless
Often so instantaneous
We are never given a fair trial
Whenever misinterpretation gone wild.

Human beings, full of emotions
Capable of many sorts of passions
Yet harbor many different faces
To be discovered at different phases
Whether it be from bad to good, or vice versa
Even friends around, don't give you enough credibility.

If we cried once, we are cry babies
If we are strong today, forever we are the man of steel
If ever once we accommodate our emotions to situations in life
If we ever change, to show another side of us
Be sure, we are never viewed in the same manner anymore
Overally, we would be judged and criticized, and much more.

If everyone can accept that we human beings have flaws
Then why would anyone make deliberations, which is uncalled for
But then again, it is deficiency of human nature
The inability to access without prejudice
The inclination to be over zealous by the power of authority
The verdict is often guilty without trial
For the damage is done....
Just endeavor & endure it all.

OMG - I AM HUMAN!

Everyday, we are taking a risk in everything
We make choices on daily basis, and split seconds like lightning
We bludgoen our head if bad consequences we have to partake
Scowl and frown, and throw ourselves off buildings, which is not a mistake
We laugh and smile gleefully for goodies and rewards of our own wisdom
Strutting, prancing, air in our hair, like royalties of our fantasia kingdom
That is human nature:- laugh when happy, and cry when sad?
Who said?

Sometime i forgot that I am human, until i shed tears
I almost forgot how it feels to have fear (shit fear)
So much that if i ever I am down, it is really tiring running downhill
It is much more livelier (being alive) to go up and feeling like a person of steel
It is probably as tiring but its much more rewarding
It is so enlightening, when positivism is radiating
So much as it may seems weird, the rain feels like touches of angels' fingers
The sound of the traffic, like heavy gushing winds, lingers
The smell of rains, the sight of rain, and the breeze it brings
The striking lightnings, the sound of gushing winds, a song nature sings
The people whom scattered and run
The cars taking a swirl and turning around
Bus loads of passengers, wet and sweating profusely
The stench of sweat and all sorts, running up the nose, so foully
It is hard to ignore the existence of life in various ways
But all seems to just pass you by, if you just not complain and smile away.

Since i do admit that I am 'human' after all
Although I do feel more like an alien, stranded and stalled
Is must be hard for friends to acknowledge I do have human qualities
I do have far more emotions than just smile and laughters, for starters
I do have issues to deal with, at work, with family, with friends and in life too!
I do have aspirations, I have frustrations dealing with it, like anyone else do
I do bleed when i get cut, my heart does ache when there is pain
I do have headaches, and shockaches, when I see the bills I have to pay
But does it really means that I pull my hair out when I don't have enough money
Or do I jump off the building when I have relationships baloney
Do I run and shy away from the society when I have a pimple
Perhaps I should get insurance for my precious dimple
It is like "have it and flaunt it"; "dun have it .. it should fuck it!"
Oops I am too demure to act like a rowdy, 2nd class bytch, cause I don't look like it?
Must I giggle and wiggle, as if I am wearing an uncomfortable g-string up my arse
Oooh sorry, it wasn't even a g-string to begin with, darn, lingerie outcast.

Well, I hate to admit that I am human
Cause human seems to live in a very sad environment
I so love my planet! Come and save me from Earthlings!
I can't deal with my own self-indulging loving
Cause ... it is like so wrong, I can be charged in court for incest
Earth and its habitants are in such a melodramatic and melanchonic mess
But until Mothership takes me back home
I have to shout on top of my lungs: "This is where I am gonna belong"
Yeah, it is hard business with human
Judgement on and off.

OMG- I AM HUMAN...........................
I am getting bored .......

Ladder to Heaven

Believing that life is wonderful...bountiful
Knowing that life has blessings come in plentitude...attitude
There are chances of harvesting the rewards of kindness...happiness
All seem so smooth, without rough edges, and so painlessly...easily
Cause you would not see the scars, the pain, the fatigue...of retreat
You would not even hear laments, frowns, and of disgust...crushed
All you will acknowledge is the enthusiasm...positivism.

Now, it is just another adventure in life...it is no lie
There are phases to endure...ensured
More experiences to relate...after been created
It always start from the bottom, with the extra need to push forward...onwards
It is an uphill struggle, looking ahead and with wishful thinking...demanding
Along the way, hit by adversaries of all sorts...where is God?
Mentally tormented by the devils of passions...emotions:
"What have I done to deserve this?"- shit
"Am I been taken advantage of?"- back off
"Is it worth trying and giving so much?"- touché
"What do I have at the end?"- friends
Physically challenged by course of mother nature...crippled and humbled.

One could never please the entire society...community
One could never do enough, and get enough praises...crazy
It often raised an eyebrow: Are you for real? ...surreal
People so skeptic, and so cynical of kindness in humanity...insanity
The mind so calculating and devising...too much thinking
The thoughts twisted in complexity...ambiguity
Every doubt raised another uncertainty...certainly
Every question raised curiosity...undoubtfully
Simplicity turns into a web of deceits...man made to be
The words of mouth have far little truth...that have scooted
Actions have far little significance...drastic consequences.

It is hard not to be bothered by the things I see...crystal clear
It is difficult not to be affected by the people I meet...friends wannabe
It is impossible, not to hear the topic of rumors...humors
So I tug in my will...sealed
I held my chin up in what I believed in...firmly
Then turn every stone only to find the most enjoyable parts of life...tasty humble pies
So I kept on un-turning stones, and continued to be amazed by discoveries...stunningly
My ladder to heaven .... and heaven is on earth ... and earth is worth living...though tiring

It is certainly an uphill journey...the end eventually
I packed up my necessities...not much actually
Then I travel light:-
1. Light head - bald would be an option
2. Light heart - happiness is light weight
3. A smile - just a few muscles to pull
4. A soul - given free of charge
5. An advice - discarded all the time
6. A belief - written in the sky

More Than Just a Face with a Name

You can put on your branded clothes
You can put on your mink coat
You can be the devil in Prada
You can look pretty with Bobbi Brown
You can have fancy names that I will surely remember
But none of the above really matters.

I may know your name in all the languages of the world
But at the end, I may know absolutely nothing about you.

I don't mind sitting across the room, and watching
If you are talking, I would enjoy the hours of listening
If you are writing, I can't wait to see what you have written
And when you have drawn a picture, do tell me what it meant
I don't mind bumping into you, and let you stand beside
If you are busy running around, let me just catch a glimpse
If you needed a moment to take a breather, hang on to my shoulders
And you know where to find me, and just give me a holler.

It is not tagging your face with a name
I won't know anything.

I have learnt that it makes a difference:
In knowing something about a person
And knowing all their reasons.

I have learnt that something can't be rushed
All good and bad things, should not be disregarded and brushed
Nothing is rigid, and nothing is ever so affixed
All good and bad things, there is always something great
Not everything stays the same, and sometimes things changed
I will start all over again, in knowing you, don't feel estranged.

You are more than just a face
I don't really need to know your name
You are more than just a name tag
I can see many much more
More than just a face with a name.

A Curve Ball

Next batter is up .... Yes, it is me
All bases are fully loaded
The pitcher got an angry glare
My bat is up on my shoulder, ready to swing
I noticed the motions signals from the catcher.

The pitcher got a good records of "strike out"
My reflexes are no match
At the back of the mind, devising plans
Will I hit a home run, or can I
Or just hit it in between the outfield
A distance enough to get 1 player home.

The pitcher sets the motion, and throw me the ball
Fast as 70km/h and whiz pass me
"Strike 1", the umpire shouted
That is only a preview, I should be prepare for the next pitch
"Ball 1", as the ball came flying at me
That is a relief, but my bases are still loaded.

2 strikes and 3 balls, I am left with the ultimatum
Swing at the ball at whatever speed and manner that I can
Desperate moment has no time for change of plans
There are replays with no particular sequences
Everyone is out there, anticipating with anxiety
Now or never, no regrets
"Swing a batter, SWING!" I am so not going to be distracted.

The ball left the pitcher's den
Whatever come may, I swung as hard as I could
Threw my bat on the ground and I hope it smashed the catcher's vest (been evil)
A high fly ball, and 2 outfielders gazing with their gloves in position
Will they catch it ... or will it slip in between them ....
Will the others make a dash for home ....
Will they just wait to anticipate the land position of the ball ....

Damn it is a CURVE BALL!

Go figure ... the game of life can swing anyway anytime.

World of Technology

There is no waiting number
There is no queue
There is just you and I, and a monitor screen in between,
No need be shy, and no need to shudder
No need to get all dolly dressed up and be cute
Just put yr hands on the keyboard, and pour it out from within.

Can't change the way you feel instantly
Can't be right over in my car
Can't comfort you face-to-face,
Yet thanks to high technology
Friendship can be shared
It can be so easily embraced.

Loaded updates faster than newspaper circulation
Free to cheaper than normal telephone calls
The social network more vast than the spider web;
Friendship brewed, relationship in the making
As blissful as it grows, and as painful as it falls
As real, and as deceitful, it is not always what it appears to be.

World of technology
A whole new scene of possibilities
Within the finger tips, and most convenient,
Sometimes defy the aspect of anthropology
Creating complexities, not within our capability
Almost as heavenly, as been defiant.

Human nature, already is mankind with its own story
Perplexed further with schemes of the mind
But it is the closest reach to the far end of the world,
World of technology, presenting its golden opportunities
It is the portal to unravel mysteries in the shortest of time
It is your multiple return tickets, to any part of the universal globe.

Let's give a toast of Thank you to the World of Technology
Let's read everything but the fine print: tread with precaution at your own risk
It has no guarantee, which part of your soul it will take away and break,
Welcome, your username and password, press ENTER key
If you are not a member, would you like to Sign In
The world beyond your imagination, beckons and waits.

Fate & Destiny

There is something which is hard to break
No, it is not the bad vices of smoking, drinking and cursing;
It is not those principles embedded like Nazi rulings in the head
It is most likely just fate and destiny, playing and teasing.

There is instinct pounding in the heart
A sensational tingling 6th sense;
There is a voice whispering from the start
In the end, it seems like a mess.

It can be just me, comforting myself
But the scenes so similar, almost felt like deja-vu;
I know it all too well
And have only wished that they are not true.

Fate and destiny, sounds nice when you said it
It is actually curse of the unknown, the future not yet unfold;
Whatever it is, I have to take it, gritting my teeth
There is no regrets, ever, that is what I truly do know.

My life, spiced with fate and destiny
My life, diced with the disguised misfortunes;
My life, lived with joy, smiley and happy
My life, enlightened with chirpy tunes.

Time will tell
Now or tomorrow;
All will be well
Thriumphant over sorrow.

Fate and destiny, they are not my foes
They are my accomplices in life;
Without them, who am I to you?
What essence I would bring, standing by your side, my dear friends?

If you have asked for rain, do you not think I can ask for Heaven's tears
If you have asked for the sun, do you not think I can pull the clouds away;
If you have only give a nod and said you want, then I would have no fear
For fate and destiny, are my accomplices, and somehow I will have it our ways.

I am Sorry.............

Busy busy busy busy ..........
So much to do, not enough time to sleep
From morning till wee hours of the morning
Busy busy busy busy, that is a fulfilling life.

Log in Facebook; Chat in MSN; Skyping and all social portals
It felt too immortal
There is never real complaint, and nothing is hassle free
And I am as happy as I can ever be!

I am heading everywhere
Places and people of sorrow and joy, I have shared
Everyone needs a friend
Friends, here is my hand.

I am noting down in my diary, my schedules
I am remembering in my mind, the smiles and the faces
When all the headbanging music is gone, and the night hit a low note
I remembered deeply, admist all, I see and hear, my friend calling me out ........

"I am sorry, I am helpless for you
Although I know I can help, and I know what to do
You may think now that I am such a big bluff
Unfortunately, you know words and actions are never enough
You know for sure I hold the key to your happiness
I know for sure, I will only unlock the chest of sadness and disappointment"

"I am sorry, I wish I can do more
Whatever I can do, I have done before
Things could never be the same
Life is such a cruel game
But there is always a prayer for you from the depth of my heart
That is all I can do, staying this afar"

Beyond the smile, tailed behind a high pitched shriek of laughter
Deep inside the soul, flowing in the blood through the veins of my body
I will always feel the hint of pain, that I could never do enough
"I am sorry" I say to those, whose life I didn't save, and my joy couldn't reach
"I am truly sorry" I say to those, whose paths we have briskly crossed
But you are always in my thoughts.

People Say

People say.....
That they know me well
Everything I do, they can tell
That I am so easy to read
It is written in frowns, smiles and grins
In all the things that I have said
Everything that I have done.

It gives me no comfort to be known
It is not everything of me, some still brewing and growing
Have you created a perfect picture of me
I think eventually, it will be tarnished
If you have given me some room to grow up and out
You will have some surprises coming about.

Can you live thru with me, day by day
See, how different I can be in some ways
After all, things are never always the same
Evolutions of changes, life's different ball of games
Even you all have good and bad days
Sitting on fences, don't know which way to swing.

People say, this is just not who I am anyway
But it is just one of my bad days
Moments when I am caught at cross roads
When I don't know what to do and where to go
There is neither intuition not the presence of logic
It only a moment of panic
Been human, as human as I can remember I am to be
Brush off your thoughts and impressions of me
Give me that time, let me have my liberty
It won't make any difference, if you have already like me.

People say... whatever comes into their mind
Straight forward opinions, I am glad, you are friends of mine.

Decisions, Courages, Expectations

At the crossroad, deciding
Unchartered, or worn out paths?
Hold onto comfort, safety is ahead?
Be liberated by fear, an adventure is ensured?
Did we limit ourselves in life, in what is secured and sure?
Did we fear to open ourselves to the opportunities of the unknown?

Bogged down by worries of tomorrow
Unable to live and reap the gift of the present
We created tomorrow with sorrow and anxieties
We take for granted of today's sentiments.

Thoughts after thoughts come flashing into the mind
Second and minutes, we are swiftly leaving behind
Soon it will all be gone
And all is left is "I wished"- regrets of the bygone.

Are we ever so spontaneous and do things, without battles in the head?
Are we ever going to decide, have courage and expect nothing?
Every step taken, pricked by a stone
Cut by pieces of broken glasses
Annoyed by the hustle and bustle
Amazed at human nature's nastiness
Appeased by humanity that existed
Our thoughts changed so constantly
But our beliefs are intact, stubbornly.

Things in life did and will work out eventually
Perhaps not as the way that it has been planned initially
But ..........
Can we decide, be courages and expect the unknown?

Related-ship

Rest assure nobody is perfect
Otherwise, cast the first stone
While seeking perfection in others
Would your flaws be grantedly forgiven
Is it a unity or just an accomplice
If it is a relationship, then be related

You are just been you .. It shouldnt be any other way
Me .. just been plain me .. It is what you see and hear.

We started with nothing
Finding out a lil bit of something
Wanting to know some more things
But it wont be everything.

Sweetly ... slowly
Wonderfully ... beautifully
Taking lil baby steps
Falling along the way
Getting back on the feet
Continuing the journey.

Surely ... strangely
Intriguing ... enthralling
Remembering lil clips of memories
Like fragments of dreams when sleeping
It is tugged in the mind
A lasting company throughout time.

Let allow rooms for changes
Learning and growing is inevitable in life
Dreams evolve, and ambitions take a different turn
Everything happens for a reason
It is not transgression
It is progression.

Changes from history make tomorrow
Live tomorrow with renewed enthusiasm
Things may not be the same then and now
But it is mutually understanding
That it is all very special.

Let it be a friendship
Perhaps a life long companionship
Maybe a moment of romantic-ship
It can a soulmate-ship ..
Dont hide the dark side
Without knowing the dark, you will not know when you see light at the end
It is really understanding the Related-ship.

Dunno What To Do

Everyone is looking for the right person to come along
To fill the void in the heart, with love which was gone
Searching and yearning so hard, just makes things complicated
Then a minute lapsed into a carefree mode, the right one has been whisked off..
Is there a moment of truth, there and then to seize the moment
Or can one be leisure, and no need to lament at the end
Is it to take the risk, but is it too soon to make a move
Let's wait awhile, to see if the feelings will bloom.

Questions just means ... dunno what to do.

Listen to your heart or seek counsel with your mind
Take a bold step forward, or take a step behind
Let your intuition guides or let fear resides
What is the best advice.

More questions of dunno what to do.

Does rejection hurts or the truth is too hard to handle
Is it the pain in the heart, or the stab to the pride.

So much more questions.

YOU asked WHY ?

Wearing the heart on the sleeve
Seems so very passionate and easy;
Everyday is like having love in the air
Charismatically, all the worries melt away;
The world seems to spin around yours
Walk down the street, feeling tall;
The dark skies seems strangely calm
The rain drops, resting gently on the arm;
Even the scorching sun seems deliciously sizzling
Nothing around seems to dampen the good spirit surmounting.

Then the world stopped at its axel
Pieces fall apart, and formed a puzzle
Storm is brewing
Rains are dancing, misbehaving;
The sun gone into hiding
All wonderful things have been tainted;
The heart felt the pinch, and felt the cut
It hurts ………………………

The heart is precious, and the love gracious
Why do others take it for granted;
The heart is vulnerable, the love is valuable
Why do others break it into zillion pieces;
The heart turns cold, the love atone
You asked why I have turned so cold stone.

No, I don't hate you, nor resent the memories
I just moved on, and this life have a different story;
Sad that you don't know then
Now it seems you will never know me again;
You never noticed me before
Despite you I so adore;
I have always been there, conveniently
But it is all right, I have love you before, honestly;
You think I have changed for someone else
The truth i have changed for you, and cause of you;
You just don't see it then, and not now also
That is why you asked.. why so;
That is why you asked
My answer is ... it has always been my life.

I used to fight for your honor
I am putting my heart aside now;
You asked WHY?
You have been blind to me.

Guilty, Without Trial

Presumptions
Assumptions
Accusations
Judgement
When will it ever come to an end?

Not everything in life is related to relationship
But the only relationship that relates to life, is its relative relationship to life itself.

Not all happiness is found, after jumping out of loneliness
Cause there is a someone who came and filled up the void
Happiness is found, after accepting every facets and facts of life that is right under the nose
Sniff it, smell it, identify it, and then embrace what the taste buds implies
It is then, boldly tasting all the adversaries, and sometimes the sweat and the blood
Yet sometimes, the sweetness and the kindness that entwined.

Nevermind, it would be a waste of time to testify against actions
Words are meaningless, if somehow actions speak otherwise.

The Balance, is Oblivious

It is always difficult to have the mind taking full control of the heart
At times, it is so tiring and soon to have an mental stress, break down
But it is also not advisable to be wearing the heart out on the sleeve
The tendency of getting hurt, and disappointed, is more evident than ignored
Throughout time, both the heart and the mind, experiment acutely
A battle that seems to have no end, and only caused lots of confusion.

As we learnt to live life to the fullest
We also learnt to listen attentively to the logic of the mind, and the impulsiveness of the heart
Only with the wisdom we acquire in the live long journey
With a little sensitivity to the poor once-many-times broken heart
With the capability of the mind to evaluate the situation
Perhaps, we will be able to come to a conclusion, a best solution that would benefit us and others.

There is a balance within us, that comes with many responsibilities and consequences
Do we want to be accountable for them or do we want to play the blame game
Are we bold enough to take charge or we are too cowardly to face the truth?

The balance, is Oblivious
But it doesn't mean it is non existence
Life is not the X-files, but still the truth is out there
But only it can be nearer to us, than we will eve know.

Cheers, to all those broken heart friends
Patience, to all those self proclaimed lonely friends
Keep it up, to all those who are on the road of discoveries.

I am going to be around for all you, for the longest time, that i can sustain.

Divine Intervention

There has been times in life, we blamed all adversaries to injustice of life
We blamed our ill fortunes, we blamed our karma, and anything else, without repercussion
Its easier than to admitting our lack of effort, our limited academic excellence, self confidence
We are just been human after all.

There are those who spent monies on checking their past life, reading astrological reports
To catch a glimpse of our previous life, and hoping to find a guide to present
If we have done wrong, now is time to make amends, and make peace with .. someone
We are just been human after all still.

When all logical explanations done and still no answers found
We might find some consolation in the divine intervention
Whether we whole heartedly believe in its predictions
Whether we shrugged off the truth or the false
At the end, we are all just looking for ourselves in everything around us.

We want to believe there is a purpose for our existence on earth
There is a reason that we are alive, yet struggling to make ends meet
Are we believing in the sequence of consequences
Are we been hard on ourselves, and giving ourselves false hopes
Are we searching at the right place but at the wrong time
Or at the right time, at the wrong placement.

Ambiguousity haunts us the deepest when things go wrong and thoughts went astray
Nightmares follow, with series of events that subconsciously play in our minds at night
There seems to be no peace, even when we shut eyes.

We are trying extremely hard to diagnose the divine intervention
We are fervently praying for answers and guidance from the supreme forces
But unfortunately, we never took the time to look around us for clues
We are paid to gain experience, which we can learn so much
We are given a free hand, to create both happiness and sadness
We have friends, whom we can count on for some assistance
I think we are just human after all, taking things for granted.

Just take five .. that is as short as it takes to entwine with divine intervention.

Life at a Glance

This morning, a friend sorta browse through my palm, and gave me some insights:-

1 - will have 2 lovers in my life
I am trying to figure out, who- whether they came and left, or they are still waiting for me (fat chance)
2 - one of them lovers, I will love for eternity
Well, I believe in eternity, so that is obvious.
3 - there is split personalities
Ooops this sounds pretty dangerous. Or is it not normal, we have both the dark and angelic side to us? I have all my life tried to be the best person for everyone else, but it is situation/circumstances that made the worst of us. This I do believe. But life is still far ahead (I think)
4 - there is a suicidal tendency
With so much going on in life, it is difficult to to contemplate with death (that is suicidal).
Since the price of flour, rice gone up; and then fuel price shot up the roof. Why not the suicidal rate?

With this insight, I will definitely continue to do what I have been doing:-
1 - LIve life to the fullest, as if tomorrow will never come.
2 - Do good, and not to resolve to evil.
3 - Love with all my heart and soul, and love with utmost trust and loyalty.
4 - Have no regrets in life.

Al viva Lifo.

HOW 2Bcome friends with EX

H............ HOly ShiT !
O............ OH My Gosh !
W............ What Da Fuck !

Mind the language, but it just aint easy
I am really very optimistic that we can always be friends with our ex-es
Somehow for some forsaken reasons
It feels like treasons of the worst liaisons
When the right is wrong, and the wrong is right
All you ever still do, is argue and fight
Then when it is all calm and peaceful
It is just the tranquility before the storm blow.

How 2Bcome friends with EX
It is really Friendship put to the extreme test.

All my best wishes.

Giving up and giving in

Its so difficult to find the balance of caring and not caring anymore
It is so easily to be taken for granted, but that is all right after all
I have just learnt to give everything I have
Never ever expect anything in return
Though people think that is ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE
Its a mission impossible, but I am so close to 98% achievement
2% of emotional glitches and heart fatalities
But I am a living proof that it can be done, after all the turbulence in life.

It is hard to apprehend my motives
People rely on instincts to understand what I am feeling inside
Don't feel a reason to express them all out to the world
What is there to gain, and in the end with all the misunderstanding
Then I have to go about clarifying and explaining
Trying to justify every actions, and every reasons I am giving
It is the same over thing, over and over, again and again
I am just so misunderstood, the world will not understand.

I am just trying to be an attribute to the world that I still trust and believe
I am just trying to be around, to give some kind of relief
I am absolutely happy that everyone is starting to find their foothold in happiness
While I am starting my transition of giving up and giving in.

Realism of Words

I have long realized that my words have carried a certain weight
There is certainty and truth in what I have said
And it need not even be a promise
Needless be sworn in the name of Almighty.

Once words are spoken, it is difficult to be taken back
If done so, thus, lack of integrity and substance
Often it need not be a curse, for it to come true
For what is heart felt, it will come through.

Its not important, if you do not remember what has been revealed
But if you do know, how much I would have care and know how I feel
Then you will know that I hold onto my words, like a promise not said
And like precious life, till death do they part
Least, I am not given the chance to fulfill them as accordingly
It would have been rare, for they will be done, in a very timely manner.

As careful as one should be of what they wish for
For they might just come true, sooner than before
When you think that its not going to happen
You may be surprised, your wish has been granted
But often, there has been mistakes made
Time of life will tell, but its has never been late
Just that we are too conscious to realize when things do happen
Too unconscious to know, your wishes come true right before your eyes.

Always behold, of things that surround
Of those lil things that can be found ...
WIshes are made of lil things that comes into your life
Lil things that made life so much more worth while.

The Joy of Discovery

When I smile, means I am happy
When I cry, means I am sad
When I frown, means I am in despair
When I scowl, means I am displease
When I yell, means I am angry .................
If you can only read me like pages of a book
Then cease all the joy of getting to know me, in depth.

Scramble Thoughts for Tis Morning

I woke up feeling a pinch in my heart
I don't know why I would feel the pain
For I am not in love, and has no matter of heart to attend to - I took out the WELCOME mat.
And if I ever got a health issue, it is my disgestion system.

I woke up feeling lethargic
But I have gotten 8 hours of sleep, more than enough
I am not groggy or anything
A lil worry free, and hassle free - life never cease to bring some worry and hassle.

Somehow for the moment, i opened my eyes
The bright day greeted me
I know I have to live through the full day and night
I have made appointments and plans, I have to fulfill
Then I realized, its for everyone else, but me
Cause I made plans for the others.

I want to pack my bags at the end of the day
Switch off my mobile, and shut down the world
I want something to be done for me
Why the heck its so darn difficult to be selfish
To be indulgent
Why is it so hard not to be me.

I want to drive - and darn the stupid fuel price hike!
I want to camp out in the open air and watch the stars
I want to feel the rain on my face and get chill when the breeze brushes
I want to have mosquitoes bites and maybe a squirrel snuggle next to me
I want to go where nobody knows me - okay, a few friends won't hurt
Oh Shit - I need the bathroom !
I just need lots of papers - not to wipe my arse ... I am dying writer for crying out loud.
My brains are bursting with thoughts and my heart is feeling cramped ....................

Mellow

My ears are ever ready to listen to the lamentations
Whatever the lips have to say, and whisper
I could never turn away any experiences that has to be shared;
Regardless of the times, whenever there are heartfelt emotions
I could never turn anyone away, nor let them alone wander
Here I am, I will be here to care.

Things which I have listened to a million times
Just been retold by different people, in differ ways
Its always about the same thing in life;
Living and surviving this era of hedious crimes
With uncertainties, and of the future, that seems bleak and gray
Like anyone else, struggling, I think I am even barely alive.

Blest may be things that came my way
But its not in abundance as misfortunes overflow
My mind wary, my thoughts are dying slowly;
Perhaps my day is soon to draw near before beginning of dawn
I already found the peace to go
For nobody, and nothing I can take with me, I walk alone.

Maybe someone can sing me a song
Appease me, with a lil tune
Mend my spirits, already battered;
But I know all along
And I know too soon
This life is always a battle.

I will smile, but its long from over
I will sleep, to rest before tomorrow comes
I will do, to my best ability;
Its not going to be over
The moon disappears, the sun beckons
I wake to a brand new day, with the same responsibilities.....

Just how much more can I sustain
Before I cross the pasture, to the meadows yonder
And turn around, and leaving behind, all I am so beloved;
I leave my heart behind, but I will take with me the pain
I leave a note behind, attached to a treasure
And I leave behind a testament, its still all about LOVE.

Tatt Ooooo ... Tattoo

Most of them have gotten a tattoo, hidden somewhere on their bodies
Colorful or just plain black and white designs that can be so intriguing
Symmetrical, non symbolic, or perhaps it comes with a personal message.

Its either a test of the pain treshold or its a message
To me, its gonna be both...............
If i don't grit my teeth hard enough, to lock my jaws permanent
If i don't punch the tattoist, till she pass out on the floor
If i don't jump out of the seat after the 1st needle touch my skin
I would have just fainted on the spot - such a weenie.

The thought of it sent shivers up my spine
But i am not put off by the ideas, at least for the time being
It seems painstaking fun and I will shed happy tears of joy
I am not a weenie ... i am just an emotionist.

By the way, if I passed on beyond recognition
And if dental records doesn't match, for whatever reasons
And our Malaysian CSI teams means "Crime Scout Idiots"
Pls try to identify me with my tattoo(s)

So if I get tattoo(s), i won't keep it a big secret
By my screams that rock the neighbourhood at richter 10
I will certainly flaunt it to you all or you will feel the tremor
In the mean time, I am in search for the oblivious identity
One that identifies me, the one whom you know and the one whom you don't know.

Let Love Live and Long Live Life

Every now and then we discover something new in our life
The journey that we partake, is full of twists and turns, surprises!
Every occurence of event, trigger thoughts deep inside
Emotions hidden, and eventually surfacing
Things unknown, now emerges, as lessons to be learnt
New emotions to be acknowledged, and nurtured.

Blest with the many wonderful lil things in life
Feeling contented with things and friends who have kept me alive
There is an overflow of joy pouring out from my heart
I am only feeling sad that I felt , I am having to depart
There is a new crossroad that came along in my path
There is a new feeling, that am embarking ... and this is the start.

The greatest treasure that i have been given to me
The most priceless emotions that I have kept will not be in a chest safe
Its time to bring it out
Time to give it up
Someone will find this love worthy
And appreciate the truest meaning
It will be my reason to stay alive
Let love live and long live life.