Thursday, October 22, 2009

Time ...

It is time to move on
To find something else to gaze upon;
The stimulation is done, geographically
The experiment inconclusive, gray area lingers;
Is it cross-cultural?
Or is it purely human behaviorial?
It is time to move on
Where ... I am pondering now.

It is not the hunger for knowledge
It is just the exhaustion;
From knowledge, as it is, full of purity
The power is so exhaustive;
And negative, majority
Wearing me out, slowly, eventually;
I am finding myself in seclusion
I need to move on to the next X-Y-Z section;
Time will prevail
Time will reveal;
The new trial
My next humanistic thrill.

A place where I am a stranger
Where I am nobody, dying to be known again;
A place out of time
Filled with new crimes;
That instill fear
Be on my tip toe, till my sneakers tear;
Running, on my Adidas shoes
That will be the place, my calling will choose;
Am waiting for the time to come
I will succumb.

The heart now is stumped, tired of normality
Even the abnormality, has turned into ordinary things ...
Alas, it is back to the basic of humanity
Where development has not changed the needs;
Little damage has been done
That is what my heart want;
Time after time ....
The signs.

Monday, October 19, 2009


There, you have been one ...
who break me down into pieces
who shattered my protected life
who ultimately forced me to find myself again
who put me down so low, with so much pain.

There, you have been one ...
who taught me lessons in life
who does not protect me with lies
who tormented my soul and mind
who eventually, left me behind.

There, you have been one ...
who showed me the many faces of friendship
who ornamented me with many phases of relationship
who bring me up and trash me down
who comes back around, round and round.

There, you have been one ...
who shared with me so much of experiences
who proved that there are many grey areas instances
who philosophized, who theorized, who hypothesize
who painted throngs of colors in my life.

There, you have been one ...
who stood armed with a stun gun
who yells "Ready, Get Set ... RUN!"
the 50,000 volts of electricity that numbs the nerves
the 5 seconds of sheer hell, immobilized and in tears
then back on the feet again
back to be earthly sane.

There, you have been one ... Earthlings!
I want to go back home to my non hostile, passionate, friendly Aliens!


There is the need to share the experiences
The want to express the emotions
The determination to live on
But where is the strength, after all these effects?

The exhaustion of self recovery
The fatigue of the attempts
The will will drain faster than it will be replenished.

A moment of exaggeration
Then the 2nd wave, traumatized
As quickly as it came, it went
Then stranded, lost
There is a ripple effect
There is a causation, from a correlation

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Just wondering the other time
We used to be so close, and then now distant
Drifting back in time, nostalgically
Now just wondering tragically
Blame me if I am assuming
Can't help myself from thinking
So what happened along the road
But can't be more cruel what you do now.

Just remembering, how you used to worry
Now I am starting to feel sorry and just weary
You used to worry about what others said about you
Did you figure out by now, the things you said about others somehow.

There is no justice
It is not what I seek
There is no imperfection
I am not bothered about this immaculate calculation.

You worried
You have a real reason too seriously anyway
Cos I am tired of walking on egg shell
I can't be myself
I am not living a life of disguise
I don't want to be unmasked when I die.

You worried
You should.

I worried?
Yes, I did!
Oh heck...
I should be worried if I continue to worry
It is history, an old time sake story.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Do U Deserve MY Respect?

Does the verse "To err is human" mean anything?
Do people really understand the meaning of it?
Even the Human League sang the song...
"We are only human, born to make mistakes"
There is no imperfection, just our strive for it
Yet, why it is so hard to be human
The more one strive for that perfection, the more harder to be a human
But it is not hard to be an angel, to be always good in someone else's books
To always be able to please everyone BUT ONESELF!

They said that "Respect is to be earn"
But respect is often given voluntarily at the first glance
Nobody who is ever so wise can detect the evil that lurks
Or the lie that one may do in the next split second future
But when that breach is broken
Can a sincere apology, the heartfelt "Sorry" rectify?

No, there is so much personal vendetta
So much of vengenance
So much of grudges
So much of unforgiveness
So much of prejudice
Growing and living inside, consciously and unconsciously.

Why is the one who always do good, often be reprimanded forever
Yet the one who has proven its evil, often be accepted for who they are
It felt as if, the evil deserve to be evil
Much better, if they can turn over a new leaf
But the good can never be good evil
Or forever be marked for life!

For all the good things that one continue to give and contribute
For all the time, one has stooped low, to say "Sorry"
For all the moments, when one swallow the pride and make the first move
Only to be reprimanded again and again, and so openly obvious.

Just because one is so conscious of a human in someone else
That one give respect, for understanding the dark nature
Just because one apologize, does not mean the one is at fault
That one is just been respectful, that it is amicable.

In many circumstances, one must have often questioned:
"Do you deserve my respect?"
It is not very difficult to find that answer
But the answer might grip the heart hard
And it might take some time to digest it
Acceptance of the answer, is the RESPECT due for oneself
For oneself is far more deserving of RESPECT than being given.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Dear friends are in sadness,
clouded by fear, discontentment,
dreading the past,
hard to move forward,
even when it all seems good and well
deep down inside, it is often not so.

Sometimes, dear friends seem close by the side
not always will open up their heart for counsel,
instead seek advice from others,
eventhough one has offered the shoulders,
the ears, and welcome with open arms.

Dear friends in the moment of distress,
despair with unsettling feelings,
seems distance, quiet without calls,
no invites for dinner,
no engaging activities,
least none that suggest sadness.

Ignorance is not just bliss
it has a quiet unknown beauty that seeks to be adore
it is to be appreciated in moments of turmoil
especially when it come rolling up to the shores of peace .....

I am an IMBECILE and this is my confession,
there is a strong display of apathy,
but there is actually empathy,
also there is sympathy, but rarely is needed, least in condolence
at this moment, am retard to the existing knowledge,
yet very well aware of everything that surrounds,
just that, chaos has a very comforting insanity.