Sadness & Happiness

We take a step to achieve happiness
We shoved back into the origin of sadness.

We associate our past happiness with so much of compassion
We dwell into our current sadness, with little to none passion.

The blanket of winter depression comes too soon into one's life
The struggle uses up every ounce of energy, need to just stay alive.

The warmth of summer comes, too late, to lift the heavy veil
Sadness has a greater toil, seems so long gone passed and still so real.

Spring blooms the air that soothes the soul
But some happiness has then been long forgot.

Autumn leaves fall gently, and paved the path you walk
Hope you will pick a shamrock ... and your heart will unlock.

How many passing seasons are needed
Before sadness go, happiness come, and time has healed you.

How are you today?
Are you feeling all right?
Will you smile, will you frown?
Will you hold your chin up, or your eyes on the ground?
Will you give me a hug, or will you give me a shudder?
Will you stay, or will you chase me outta here?
So many different answers
Brief and extended
We can clearly define ... Sadness & Happiness.

Sharin' Blessin' in Disguise

It seems the more you share about yourself, the more you are prone to be rejected
The more fear you have of how others perceive youself, like your self esteem under attacked,
You seek more affirmation of the good things about yourself, worried been misunderstood
That one fine day, your own insecurities, lead you to be a victim of your own good.

There are times, you hold back your thoughts, and bottle them all inside
You only share your glory, your success, less than that, you hide,
You smile, when you should have cried; remained calm, when you should panic
Then one fine day, you realize whoever you are to the world, is just a fake.

You don't take criticism too well, and fought defending yourself, at whatever cost
There is a degrading moment, when you found that a battle you have lost,
When you found no excuses to say, and no reasons to give
Your own flaws and weakness, you yourself couldn't even forgive.

Does the world always need to know you as the strongest and the wisest?
The most successful, the richest and the gayest in the party?
Does the world stop spinning, when you are low, down and under?
When you didn't shave, didn't dress your best, and smell like a stinging beggar?
Does your friends and family disown you at the moment, you flop with crisis?
When you can't fulfill your commitment, and you got evicted from your premise?

You stood tall, when you are at your best
Everyone is so very impressed,
Then you came crashing down, like an avalanche
Did you realize who are those who stood by your side?

Count them, and I am sure you will find still a great handful
They are just waiting for you to share with them, your heartfelt thoughts,
Cos they will show you your blessings in disguise
As long as you are bold enough to share, instead of shying away to hide.

Times honesty sucks, and hardship rip your ego apart
It is horrible to witness you cry, and pouring your heart,
Yet be honest with yourself, and be honest to those around you
You will find your blessings in disguise, when you are truthful.

Hooray da Rain

Hooray da rain, it finally came after hours of dry spell
Now I can jovially jump into the pool, and get hit by lightning as well
Feel the rain hitting my skin, like soft pebbles
When was the last time I played in the rain, I barely remember
Enjoy the splashes wind against the face
So refreshingly, yet painful though, I am getting sick.

Run back home, making sure, I don't slip and break my nose
Or fall into an uncovered drain, and look like a fool
Curious onlookers watching, and nobody offer a hand to help
Just lots of laughters in their bellies, they are waiting to belge
Oh go ahead .. com'on if you wanna point your fingers at me
If you wanna laugh your heartiest heart out, I will join in the glee
Hooray da rain
Although I am limping home in pain.

Soaked and sniffing, I might be catching a cold
Clothes are drenched, but hell... I am feeling good
Just when it is starting to wash all my sorrow away
The rain stopped, bright clouds came to chase the gray
My momentary outburst of fun, so brief
I am gonna hit the shower, and get myself dry.

Hahahaha .... Hooray da rain, you decided to come back for me!
Don't go away and stay to make me happy sappy yappy
When am all dried, and crawl into bed
I will be soothed by the sound of your presence
Gush hush gush hush .. whooossh whasssh whooosh
Winds trailing in laughters .. hoo oohhh hooo haaaash
Thunder roaring like hurried lullabies
I can hear you loud and clear, underneath my blanket
Sing and lull me, appease my soul, rub me down
So glad today, you came around.

Hip hip Hooray... da rain...

IF II

Frenzied imploration
Erraticity coercion

Not to give a damn how the world is gonna look at me
..... look at your own reflections, plz
Heck them who wanna say anything behind my back or wherever
..... piss be upon your mouth
If I wanna "ptui" I will, and too bad if "it" land on your shoes
...... time to get a new pair
If I wanna be blunt, I should and too bad if it bruise your ego
...... go and heal yourself
If I wanna travel to out of the world spots, I will go with my sleeping bag
...... jungle-mungle-huggle here I come!
If I never return to civilisation, aint the matter if you all miss me or not
...... I am dispensable, no kidding me.

LY - Hot Babe Project Manager

Ever since I got this real short, punky and funky hairstyle
Which I like from the start, and liking it even more now
That is when I started using massive lots of hair gel and wax
Things which I dread putting on my hair, cos I have got sensitive scalp
The equipment which I would never ever touch - hair dryer
Now I am finding it next to my bed, and I am using it more often!
What is the number 1 and 2 and 3 indication for anyway?
I wont know until I start to smell something burning, my hair!
Would that explain why my hair is not really growing much
Would that explain why my mane is not expanding .. ouch ouch ouch.

I looked at myself more in the mirror, must I admit that I am vain?
I just wanna make sure that I am styling my hair in the right way
I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror, just before I leave the house
Ensuring I applied the right amount of gel and wax, my hair must not slouched!

Anyway, I am really enjoying myself
I have good physique, now a great haircut, what else
I gotta wait for my hot babe project manager
Her enthusiasm and spontaneousity, thumbs up for her!
I never really told her how much I truly appreciate what she has done
LY baby, thank you a lot, and a whole lots!

Emo

The fundamentality that rules daily life, in everyone
The desires to dream, the aspiration to succeed, fueled with the "wants"
The over-rated and exaggerated association with emotional crimes"
The repeatedly misinterpreted and misunderstood emotions of all time
The twists and turns of the meaning that is so engulfed with personal vindication
That once built, and constantly destroying, with raging passion.

Yippediitty .. Serendipity ......

When I read back my old blog somewhere else (I am thinking of importing .. I hope there is no blog tax incurred)...

I didn't realize that I have so much to write about LOVE .. oh LOVE
I didn't know that I am so philosophical about that particular subject
And so much of high hopes and strong believe, and steadfast faith
It is as if I built a temple of LOVE solidly, that nobody can rock
It is so holy, that no crappy shitty things that evolve around can taint
Ohhhhhh I am the Holy Man of LOVE
I have my fingers wrapped around LOVE
I am the Little White Book of LOVE.

Yipediitty .... Serendipity
Hmm .... I did Believed.

Ready .. Get Set ... Slow

Here is a song which I would like to put a tune into .....

It feels like so long ago
That we have exchanged our vow
It feels like such a long road to go
We only have taken a tiny step out home.

Didn't we realize, we went too far ahead
Didn't we know, we are bound for some hurt
Didn't we talk about it, knowing it for sure
Yet when it comes to hurting, nothing else is assured.

Ready ... get set ... slow
Where will we go ...
Only God knows.

It feels like we are getting nowhere
But we did come from there to here
It feels like we haven't afar
But heaven has came thus, this far.

Did we forget, the memories we have
Did we remember, the love we gave
Did we forsaken, the time we sacrifice
Just b'cos of the tears in our eyes.

Ready ... get set ... slow
Nurture and grow
Only God knows.

My Patiences

Most of the time, I have been the one with the clip boards (where is my suit)
While the others, lay comfortably on the couch .. my dear patients (hahahaha)
While they speak of their hearts, their thoughts, depressions, and joy (I pray)
I take notes, and scribble endless (been verily artistic)
I multi task for the moments (think, do, tabulate, talk, expressions everything)
Finally, I conclude my diagnosis (positive input)
And I offered a cup of tea, coffee, biccays and .. (me, excluded)

There is a code of ethics
Hoping that my dear patients are unattractive, unsexy, unappealing
So that I would not care for them, more than I should
So that I won't want to see them too often
And if I do, I shouldn't feel that the couch is too cramped for both of us (OMG)
That I should be diagnosing you, instead of mentally undressing
That I didn't end up with a long billet-doux, fold and slip into your palm
And offer to do house call 24/7, and disclose my private number to call.

Death Sentence

The past few days, the journey of my life
Almost felt that there is no reason to be alive:-

This self-acclaimed glorified sifu told me
Seriously horrendous stuff about my life
I will never ever have luck in my life, which means poverty striken
Nothing i do in life will be smooth, it is just flop per flop
Scary stuff about shadows and evil spirits
My life is in danger, and there is really no cure to it
No exactly no cure - just needs lot of money to rectify the wrong
$$8,888.00 - I could barely smile but I did chuckle
So business like, as quoted by my friend.

I wont disregard certain captions that he mentioned
Work has been so rocky
Finances has been in difficulties
Almost lost my way, and lost my life
So luck in everything in life is running from low to hitting rock bottom
Everything has been caught in ripples of uncertainties and craps.

I finally asked him, what does it really mean to me...
My life is on a DEATH SENTENCE.

I am a cross between Buddhist and a baptised Christian
Heaven or Hell, or in between caught as a roaming spirit
As alien as while been alive, as outcast as when I am death
Wow ... asking for a wonderful life, and after life.

It is lingering in my mind right now - DEATH SENTENCE...

Beautiful Heart & Mind

Does your beauty mesmerize me - youthfully refreshing
Does your strength captivate me - stubborns prevails your weakness shines
Does your laughter brings me joy - a smile can shine brighter than the sun
Does your sadness makes me remorse - it hurts like a cutting knife
Does your philosophies creates ideas - beautiful heart and beautiful mind creates intrigue.

I can write poems
I can pen the journal
I can tell the whole world.

Read the lines, so fine and precise
See the details, so intricate and delicate
Feel the passion, as created.

But I am just utterly disappointed
I have truly let myself down
All effort is in vain, and shunned
I am unable to share ultimately
The kindness and beauty that I felt with my heart and see with my mind
It is sad then, to have a beautiful heart, and a kind mind.

The END

When I smile, when I laugh, everyone said I have small eyes
Squinted eyes, that looks like the line of the horizon
Is it not romantic notion, to ride to the edge, during sunset?
Is it not more romantic, if you are with someone u love?

Come and look at the world , through my tiny chinky eyes
While I sipped my hot tea, and read through the pages of a book
Occasionally, I looked up, I can smile, and then I can laugh
At every lil thing, so simple, and part of my life, I am glad I didn't overlook
Although it is not what the world seems to portray.

If my heart crack into pieces - I will pick them pieces
If my tears trickle down - I wipe them dry
If my fear surround me - I fought
If my uncertainty taunt me - I pray
If I have been fooled again - I laugh and smile ... this is when the horizon begin again.

Someone can take a claim of my heart - I am honored
Someone can say that they care and love - I am blessed
Someone say that they will help me - I am glad
Strangers sitting next to me in the cinema - I am not alone
A stray animal creep up - it is humanity
New friends I have met - it is friendship
Old friends I have kept - they are polished diamonds
Those whom I have love - they are always special
Those whom I am learning to love - they are my hope
Death comes forth - it is my fate and destiny

Giving

"You can have anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want" - Zig Ziglar

Giving is a passion
But it is not charity of emotions
Yet, it can be forsaken
Taken for granted
Cos free things comes abundantly
Free things just flow freely.

Friends come to you
For good times and bad times, good friends do
Strangers seeks from you
Answers which are renewed, things they don't know.

You will be told of many stories
Will be taken along with them on their many journeys
Their adventures around the world, to the 7 wonders
Only to realize, their greatest mishaps is the alter ego
You know it instantly, at the back of your head
You give it your best shot one more time, it is never too late.

Sitting down, the stories unfold, as they narrate
Emotions flares, tears flow, heart aches
Some would just asked for your patient ears
Only to be most grateful, that you are sitting so near
Some would ask for your professional advice
You will never turn them away, and will abide.

You gave your time, you gave your heart
You gave them light, when they are groping in the dark
You gave them laughters, and dark humor
You gave them insights to life's crude rumors
You gave them your smiles
You bet, you can surely give your life

For all the things in your heart you have shared so willingly
For all the feelings you have, you give away, so enthusiastically
You won't question their integrity
You just dwell in their utmost honesty
You just uphold to what you believe in
That is humanity.

You have vouched to make everyone happy
You have vouched to make all dreams come true
You found some happiness in the hurt that you have been hurled into
You found solace in the blessings that the world has returned to you
You found intangible values in humanity, that nobody can ever understand
But you are putting yourself up on the biggest challenges and plans
And you don't even know if you will be able to struggle through it all
But you will be standing tall, until the day, you have no strength and fall
Then it is sad, that many more dreams you can't be fulfill
Till then, how much strength you have, you can and you will.

You can have anything you want in life ....
For your heart is bigger than the things that enlightens your eyes.

What Goes Around Comes Around

A friend close to my heart told me .....
What goes around comes around

What she truly meant is I will get my repercussions
For the bad things that I have done
For the trust that I have breached
For the promises I have broken
For every word which is just lies
For every other thing, which in her eyes, are evil.

She would care to listen to other friends, and occasionally visit my life
She points out the flaws to events, and reminds me of my past
She predicts my future, which is bleak, and with misfortunes, my karma
She wants to be the witness of my downfall, cos I am so deserving my 'rewards'.

Hardly, she would acknowledge my contributions, my kindness, my goodness
All is forsaken, cos, I have never been good enough in the first place
Yet at the end of it, she claims that she loves me dearly in her heart
Then repeatedly reminds me ...
What goes around comes around

God blest to my dear close friend of my heart
For I am the truest believer of What goes around comes around
I don't even need to ponder who should fear the repercussions more ...

Too Late

There was a time, when memories are so fresh
When love is so strong, and emotions are raging like storm;
There was the moment, when apologies should be accepted
And mistakes are forgiven, goodness be embraced;
Then time flies, and moments are lost in time
Moments are buried, and washed away, and hide.

It is never too late to know, to acknowledge
But it was never too soon to realize, and to appreciate;
Time was ticking away, time was taken for granted
Hurt has been done, can it be taken back?
This time around, it is too late
So sorry to say...........

It is not about being wiser
Not about having the strength, to be stronger;
It is just time to take a firm stand
It would be difficult to understand, when it was not understood then;
It won't make a difference, even in looking back at the past
Moving on has been totally hard, and the pain that surmounts in the heart;
It is really just too late
Good bye ... till the path cross again.......